Holiday depression. Two words that together sound like they should be an oxymoron.
I suppose not many people wish to associate holidays with depression. A time for supposedly fun, sun and laughter. Only with depression, it does seem like any other day. I'm writing this post today as I recently went on a one week holiday to a picturesque lodge which had many local attractions and also the lodge itself was lovely.
Typically, to find a new identity as a 'blogger' I should/could tell you all about the 'wonderful' trips out, the 'beautiful' facilities and the 'stunning' scenery. Yet it wouldn't be the reality. I'm sure many people would love a holiday, where nothing went wrong, it wasn't overly priced, etc. and it did go as well as expected but I wasn't happy. Now, to quickly correct any misunderstandings - I do not mean that I wasn't grateful. I was. I'm aware that not everyone can experience holidays, and I am grateful for that. Only this adds to the guilt that I can not feel these emotions and the 'happiness' that people associate with holidays - just the repetitive consistent feeling of 'meh'.
If I spent my week at home, or in the most sunny beautiful place possible, I know that I would still feel the same. I am so desperate to feel something. To escape the depression that surrounds and clings to me. Every single day is the same, and I wish for it to be so much more. I'm numb. Numb to everything around me, emotionally and sometimes physically.
It's not just holidays/vacations that I feel this way. Any 'exciting' occasion too; Christmas, weddings, parties, etc. Long story short, value your emotions. Don't take them for granted. This is quite a depressing post, so I apologise. As I've previously explained, my blog is my outlet and this is something that I wanted to discuss.
So, any thoughts? Has anyone experienced this, or similar?
Take care, Sophie x
As always, please bear in mind that I am not a mental health professional or any other type of professional, this is a hobby for me and is for informational purposes only and shouldn’t be seen as any kind of advice. I am not liable for any consequences as a result of this information and if readers rely on any of the information on my blog, it is at their own risk. I cannot confirm that all information is correct, accurate or reliable. The information is true to the best of my knowledge, yet there may be omissions, errors or mistakes. This information isn’t intended as a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. If you have, or believe to have, a mental illness, please contact a mental health professional.
This picture belongs to Wix.